Lillie's 7th Birthday Party

Every year the kids beg for friend parties. I usually say no; I'm not a party person and the prep work and running around keeping the party going stresses me out. Lillianna has the first "kid" birthday of the year, on April 19th, and this year was no exception for the requests of having a friend party. Initially we said no, but the more I thought about it, the more I decided it was time to cross "friend party" off their list. It was last minute and a busy weekend with our track meet the two days prior--I like a challenge, apparently. (Or I'm a glutton for punishment.)

We decided to make it a surprise party, that way just in case no one could come due to the last minute-ness, it wouldn't make her sad to find out her friend party was a flop. I planned a "garden party" theme which turned out quite wonderfully. The kids painted their own terra cotta pot, played while they dried, and planted petunias. We also did a pinata, snacks, and cake, of course. The disappointing part was that Lillie did not have the "surprised reaction" I had imagined. I thought she would be uncontrollably excited, but she was a little unphased by the surprise aspect. Happy, but she was excellent at containing her excitement. 😊

The party went wonderfully. Fun was had, cake was eaten, and flowers were planted. I learned that I am pretty good at the planning aspect, and prep work (except for leaving the house on time), and that Justin is excellent at keeping the party flowing just right. He hung the pinata and gathered kids for singing and cake, while I was busy visiting with friends. We make a great team! The friends were also great at helping with activities and clean up afterwards. It was truly a blessed experience for our family and I'm looking forward to our next friend party for the year.

April 28, 2019

 UPDATE: I almost forgot! This year on Lillie's actual birthday we had the pleasure of Papa's company. He came to town to help us get started on our new floors and we got to celebrate with him this year between tiling and mixing concrete. It was a fun and busy weekend! 

Presents from Ma and Papa, and a couple from Mama and Daddy

June 9th, 2019

Ten years. In most instances ten years is a milestone, something to be celebrated. But June 9th is no such occasion. I've been thinking all day about what words I could possibly say about today. I still don't have the right words, and probably never will, but I have to try.

Ten years feels long and short, all at the same time. So much change in a decade. So much miss and sadness. And so much new. A lot of good has happened too. It feels like a lifetime ago since we saw you and many have never even met you. How can ten years have so much good in it, and be riddled with so much grief all at the same time?

June 9th has it's own sound and feeling. It sounds of cries, sorrow, anger and cursing. Silence and gasps for air. Screaming, regret, disbelief. Utter shock, like a punch in the stomach. A full apartment, but empty in the worst possible way. No words can truly describe how it feels to clean out an apartment for someone who doesn't need his things anymore. Every piece of trash is sacred. Every dirty dish. A laundry basket full of clean clothes and a well loved, sweat stained cycling hat. A stick of deoderant, and a plug in air freshener.

Ten long, short years. We miss you.

My brother, Matthew, with my oldest baby. I wish he could see him now.