Gift From God

Today, I think back to a time in my life that made little sense. An emotional time. A confusing time. A scary time. An uncomfortable time, filled with awkward moments and a lot of tears. Tears of hurt, pain, and of immense happiness. As negative as some of those feelings sound, it was still one of the happiest days of my life! It was the day I gave birth to my perfect baby boy, Nathaniel Joshua.

It was a Monday morning, the day before his due date, and I was scheduled to be induced. I had contractions the entire night before and the wee hours of the morning...the scheduled induction wouldn't have mattered. He was on his way! I realize now, I should've told someone I was in labor. It never crossed my mind that it could be too late and I could end up giving birth in my room! My 17 year old mind thought "There's no sense in waking anyone up for this. We have to be at the hospital at 5:00 am anyway." So I just laid there in my bed, enduring each contraction while curled up in a little ball, trying to sleep in-between each one, and thinking "I'm about to be a mom" and "this hurts so bad!".

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Finally 4:00 am came. I got my things together, got dressed, and I think I even put makeup on (haha...that was a big waste!). I went to tell my mom goodbye and that she should come to the hospital as early as she could because I didn't think he would take long. My dad laughed and said "I'd be surprised if you have him before noon!". A father of seven had done his fair share of waiting at the hospital!

I hugged my mom goodbye, and my dad, my brother, and I headed for the hospital.

Around 8:00 am, the doctor finally came in to check me. I was at an 8, so he broke my water. Then my mom and sister, Hannah, came in to see me. We joked between contractions about funny things Hannah had said when she was in labor with Noah. (Who was born just 9 months before). As painful as labor is, I can always still keep my sense of humor.

At 9:00 am, it was finally push time.

At 10:04 am, I held the most perfect 6lb. 13oz. baby boy. When the doctor handed him to me for the first time, I felt overwhelmed with fear, responsibility, change, and perfect love. This was my baby! A baby I had felt tickle my belly button with his tiny finger, and jab me with his elbows and feet for the last 7 months. A baby I had only seen in black and white, and was the size of a peanut at times. Here he was, in my arms, and in living color.

 

It's amazing to me that it's been seven years. I've watched him grow into such a handsome, sweet boy. I watched him learn his ABC's in preschool and listened to him sing "Twinkle-twinkle, Little Star". I watched him walk to his kindergarten class, every single day...with a tear and a smile until he went through the door. I remember the day he was too embarrassed to hug and kiss me goodbye, because his friends were waiting to walk down the hallway with him. It broke my heart, and I kissed him anyway. Sometimes, I can still see and hear him as a toddler when he talks to me. (He had and has such a funny little accent).

This year, he played his first season of baseball, he'll be starting 2nd grade, and he's working on losing his first tooth. (A moment that I'm sure will bring tears to my eyes!) Seven years seems so long ago; we have changed so much since he was born. Looking back at pictures though, I can still see my baby. And I looked like such a little kid! But that day, I was changed. I don't regret being such a young mom. The situation wasn't ideal of course, to say the least, but nothing but good things have resulted from having my sweet boy. It wasn't always easy, but it has always turned out good. I barely even remember my life before him! "Nathaniel" means a gift from God and I'd say he has definitely lived up to his name!

Happy Birthday, my sweet Nathaniel.