Lillie's Song

It was a saturday morning, exactly one year ago. It was supposed to be a normal day; Nathaniel had a soccer game that morning. We probably would've gone out for lunch afterwards (probably at chickfila). Instead, a few hours before his game was scheduled to begin, we were trying to make the all too common parental decision on whether to take our daughter to the doctor.

It happened over night. She had a cold; snotty nose, maybe a slight cough, but nothing serious. Until Saturday morning came. She was laying in bed between her daddy and me, and her breathing did not sound good. Chest caving in, short inhale, rapid exhale. It was worrisome, for sure. Something we've dealt with a few times before, but each time you sit and watch and ponder for a second "should we go?" 

I try not to be one of those crazy, hypochondriac moms. I fail, quite often. Almost every time I've taken one of the kids in to the doctor or ER, I feel silly. I'm just sure the nurses are laughing at me for being "that mom". I've learned over the years to assess the situation more thoroughly and to wait certain things out for a little while before panicking. I still Google and my searches almost always come back with the absolute worst scenario possible. I have finally learned that every bump on the head does not lead to a concussion. I've learned to let the fever do its job. I'm still working on the Googling part, although it is quite a handy resource to have. 

So while watching Lillianna breathe, and reading a few articles about labored breathing, I decided she should be taken to a doctor. Normally, if she's having a hard time breathing (which only happens when she gets sick with a cold or something), we have an inhaler to give her, but about a week before this episode, her big sister, Gabriella, thought it'd be fun to squirt the remaining 30+ puffs out. The plan was to get to urgent care as soon as they opened, be the first ones seen, get a breathing treatment and maybe a steroid shot (as was given in the past), and make it out in time to watch Nathaniel's game. Justin kept the other three just in case it wasn't quick, so at least Nathaniel would still make it to his game. 

Lillie and I got to the clinic and waited about 20 minutes before being seen. The doctor checked her oxygen levels and they were low. 85-87 I think? Too low for an otherwise healthy child. They tried a breathing treatment, and her levels still didn't improve. He said he had no choice but to send us to the hospital. In fact, he insisted we travel by ambulance! Then, the plan changed again when he talked to her pediatrician, who insisted she be taken to Children's Hospital instead of the hospital down the road. 

It was scary. I called Justin at the game to let him know what was going on. He was scared too. Out of all our trips to the ER for bumps and scrapes and fevers that seemed too high, we'd never, ever experienced the urgency of an ambulance, or the seriousness of a children's hospital. (And I pray we never do again). I tried to remain calm. I couldn't become a hysterical mess with my precious three year old watching. I made slight conversation with the paramedic treating Lillie. She'd been doing her job for about ten years. I can't remember her name but I remember what she looked like. She was nice and good at her job and good at helping an anxious mom feel a little less anxious. Twenty minutes later, we arrived to Children's and had a whole team of doctors and nurses waiting on us. Several hours and even more breathing treatments later, we were admitted to a room because her levels were still not high enough. 

At the hospital the next morning

Justin took Nathaniel and Gabrie home that night; they weren't allowed to even go to Lillie's room because of the fragility of so many patients at Children's. Addie was allowed to stay with me at the hospital because she was breastfeeding. I can't speak highly enough of the staff; everyone was great. They really made you feel like your child's health was of utmost priority. We continued with breathing treatments and steroids throughout the night, and her levels were monitored continuously. Our expected stay time was at least two days, depending on her condition. 

My sweet, joyful Lillianna Mattison sang "Jesus Loves Me" to herself the entire night, even in her sleep! (And would have me sing it to her too). It was just precious. With each time she sang, her condition improved. By the middle of the night her levels were exactly where they were supposed to be and because her improvement was so great and stayed consistent, we were able to leave Sunday afternoon! I completely believe her songs to Jesus and lots of prayers were what helped her get well so quickly. I also believe that Gabrie's previous orneriness of wasting the inhaler was really a blessing in disguise, because I'm not sure I would've taken her in when I did if we had it. Her oxygen levels were dangerously low, nearing the point necessary of causing brain damage.

Last day of being a 3 year old!

Lillie just turned four last week and still loves to sing. On her birthday, Justin gave her a microphone (that we hook up into Nathaniel's amp). The kids all did a little show for us and one of her performances included "Jesus Loves Me". Yes, He does love us, Lillie. Thank you for always reminding me.

Becoming Midlanders

It's been two years since I last wrote something... a lot has changed since our family pizza night!
For starters, we had our third baby girl in July of 2014. If you know us in real life, you'd know that's not all that shocking. In fact, I'm pregnant now with our 5th baby, due this June. We feel extremely blessed to be adding another sweet baby to our family! About a year after family pizza night, we decided to move across town to this cute little house in the "country". It was an old house, tucked away on a side street in Broomfield, CO...not really in the country, but it felt like it to us. We had a nice, big yard with lots of trees and a beautiful garden, a greenhouse (that I regretfully never used), and tons of storage, plus lots of room for the kids to play and run. It was wonderfully isolated. The only nuisance we had to avoid was the weekly visit from the Jehovah's Witnesses. (That may sound mean, but I have good reasons for not wanting to be bothered every week with uninvited company.) Anyway, Emerald Lane was beautiful and only two minutes away from my favorite thrift store.

Last day at Emerald Lane

Moving across town felt like quite a journey at the time. We were no longer 5 minutes from Justin's work. The kids missed their neighborhood friends they had recently started playing with. King Soopers wasn't just a left turn away anymore... we'd grown quite spoiled on 104th. None of that compares to our even bigger change though, which is having moved to good ole' Midland, Texas.



Christmas 2015, we're back in Arkansas visiting family when Justin got a call from his boss. He was being offered a management position. Great news considering the recent decline in oil and countless jobs being snatched away from many of his colleagues. The catch? The job is in Odessa.

I quickly googled the area and checked out the map and topography. "It's pretty, stinkin close to New Mexico...I don't see much green on this map...Oh geez, this is the desert part of Texas.", I thought to myself. "Oh good, they at least have a Chick-fil-a." It was a difficult decision, but Justin and I agreed it would be best for the family to accept the offer.

The company gave us an all-expenses-paid-week in order to find a house. So, a couple weeks later, we embarked on the 10 hour drive to Midland, with all four kids in tow, for our house hunting trip. Five days and about 50 houses later, we finally found the right one. It's in a quiet neighborhood, with two big oak trees and a "cepan" tree (pecan), a backyard with plenty of room for the kids to play and only 6 minutes from Chick-fil-a. The inside is large enough for our growing family, and small enough for me to keep relatively clean. We are definitely happy with our choice. As far as the town, however, we are not thrilled, but we're trying to make the best of it.

Our last Christmas in CO

After our house hunt we returned back home to Emerald Lane. Our remaining time in Colorado would be short. We made the most of it by hanging out with friends and doing as many fun things as we could. In 12 short days, the movers would be there to pack away everything we own and we'd make the long drive back to Midland.

One upside to this transfer was having the company hire movers for us; that was pretty awesome! They literally did all of our packing and loading. All we had to do was show up (and answer a lot of questions like "do you want this packed with this? Are you taking this with you or are we taking it? And what room will this go in at the new house? What label should we put on this box?") Towards the end they got a little careless though and just started shoving things in boxes...

Anyway, we arrived in Midland on January 29th and moved into our new home two days later. Starting out we wanted to look at the move as an adventure. We're still trying to see the adventure in it. Right now it's just giving us the blahs. We have found a church we like though so that's good. But every time we leave the house we "worry" about getting in a wreck BECAUSE TEXANS CAN NOT DRIVE! (I exaggerate a little, but they really can't drive.) I remember my first time leaving the house since moving here...me and the kids went to get groceries, checked out the library, and of course, had Chick-fil-a. It was the first time (but not the last) that I got honked at for driving LEGALLY. It still baffles me. UPDATE: Today we witnessed the most epic driving mistake ever. A woman drove the wrong way on a one-way, all the while thinking the car she was about to crash into was in the wrong, and then she continued down the one-way and found her way onto the interstate STILL DRIVING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION! We'll see if she made it on the 6 o'clock news.

I think moving has definitely been the hardest on my sweet Nathaniel. He was involved in the most

Last Day at HSC--I embarrassed him in front of his teachers
so that's what the face is about.

awesome homeschooling program I've ever heard of. He had one Wednesday a week where it was all about what he enjoyed doing. No helping with younger sisters, no "school", no chores. All day long, he went from class to class with his friends and learned new and exciting things. We got transferred to Texas right at the start of his second semester at HSC. It was devastating. For him and me! He was able to attend three weeks into the new semester, which probably made it that much harder on him. Not only was leaving HSC devastating, but he also left behind some really great friends. Since we've been in Midland, he and I have had many, many talks about the importance of our move and Daddy's job. We've shared lots of tears and hugs and worked through countless meltdowns and bad attitudes. It's been tough. It breaks my heart to see him struggle with this change so deeply. I know that to him and his nine year old mind, this is the worst thing ever. On the flip side though, I think the situation has helped him become more responsible and mature. We've had some of our best school days here in Texas. He's transforming into this young man who makes jokes and enjoys my company and loves listening to his favorite band (Thousand Foot Krutch) while we encounter SO MANY horrible drivers on our way to Walmart. The transition from being a Coloradan to a Texan (and no, we will never be "Texans"!) has been difficult, to say the least, but I am beginning to see the end of that dark tunnel.

We got really spoiled living somewhere as cool as Colorado for almost four years. It was an awesome blessing for Justin to have gotten a good job right after graduating and in such a beautiful place! Not gonna lie, it was a sad and painful day when Justin registered our vehicles with Texas and replaced our green mountain license plate with a boring lone star plate. Nathaniel was especially ashamed of our van's new look. :)

I decided after our house hunting trip that I should try to find the beauty in West Texas. I've found a few glimmers so far and I'll keep on looking for it.

Laughing together at AFV

Daddy's HUGE new office 

Playing "boss"

Easter 2016