Lillie's Song

It was a saturday morning, exactly one year ago. It was supposed to be a normal day; Nathaniel had a soccer game that morning. We probably would've gone out for lunch afterwards (probably at chickfila). Instead, a few hours before his game was scheduled to begin, we were trying to make the all too common parental decision on whether to take our daughter to the doctor.

It happened over night. She had a cold; snotty nose, maybe a slight cough, but nothing serious. Until Saturday morning came. She was laying in bed between her daddy and me, and her breathing did not sound good. Chest caving in, short inhale, rapid exhale. It was worrisome, for sure. Something we've dealt with a few times before, but each time you sit and watch and ponder for a second "should we go?" 

I try not to be one of those crazy, hypochondriac moms. I fail, quite often. Almost every time I've taken one of the kids in to the doctor or ER, I feel silly. I'm just sure the nurses are laughing at me for being "that mom". I've learned over the years to assess the situation more thoroughly and to wait certain things out for a little while before panicking. I still Google and my searches almost always come back with the absolute worst scenario possible. I have finally learned that every bump on the head does not lead to a concussion. I've learned to let the fever do its job. I'm still working on the Googling part, although it is quite a handy resource to have. 

So while watching Lillianna breathe, and reading a few articles about labored breathing, I decided she should be taken to a doctor. Normally, if she's having a hard time breathing (which only happens when she gets sick with a cold or something), we have an inhaler to give her, but about a week before this episode, her big sister, Gabriella, thought it'd be fun to squirt the remaining 30+ puffs out. The plan was to get to urgent care as soon as they opened, be the first ones seen, get a breathing treatment and maybe a steroid shot (as was given in the past), and make it out in time to watch Nathaniel's game. Justin kept the other three just in case it wasn't quick, so at least Nathaniel would still make it to his game. 

Lillie and I got to the clinic and waited about 20 minutes before being seen. The doctor checked her oxygen levels and they were low. 85-87 I think? Too low for an otherwise healthy child. They tried a breathing treatment, and her levels still didn't improve. He said he had no choice but to send us to the hospital. In fact, he insisted we travel by ambulance! Then, the plan changed again when he talked to her pediatrician, who insisted she be taken to Children's Hospital instead of the hospital down the road. 

It was scary. I called Justin at the game to let him know what was going on. He was scared too. Out of all our trips to the ER for bumps and scrapes and fevers that seemed too high, we'd never, ever experienced the urgency of an ambulance, or the seriousness of a children's hospital. (And I pray we never do again). I tried to remain calm. I couldn't become a hysterical mess with my precious three year old watching. I made slight conversation with the paramedic treating Lillie. She'd been doing her job for about ten years. I can't remember her name but I remember what she looked like. She was nice and good at her job and good at helping an anxious mom feel a little less anxious. Twenty minutes later, we arrived to Children's and had a whole team of doctors and nurses waiting on us. Several hours and even more breathing treatments later, we were admitted to a room because her levels were still not high enough. 

At the hospital the next morning

Justin took Nathaniel and Gabrie home that night; they weren't allowed to even go to Lillie's room because of the fragility of so many patients at Children's. Addie was allowed to stay with me at the hospital because she was breastfeeding. I can't speak highly enough of the staff; everyone was great. They really made you feel like your child's health was of utmost priority. We continued with breathing treatments and steroids throughout the night, and her levels were monitored continuously. Our expected stay time was at least two days, depending on her condition. 

My sweet, joyful Lillianna Mattison sang "Jesus Loves Me" to herself the entire night, even in her sleep! (And would have me sing it to her too). It was just precious. With each time she sang, her condition improved. By the middle of the night her levels were exactly where they were supposed to be and because her improvement was so great and stayed consistent, we were able to leave Sunday afternoon! I completely believe her songs to Jesus and lots of prayers were what helped her get well so quickly. I also believe that Gabrie's previous orneriness of wasting the inhaler was really a blessing in disguise, because I'm not sure I would've taken her in when I did if we had it. Her oxygen levels were dangerously low, nearing the point necessary of causing brain damage.

Last day of being a 3 year old!

Lillie just turned four last week and still loves to sing. On her birthday, Justin gave her a microphone (that we hook up into Nathaniel's amp). The kids all did a little show for us and one of her performances included "Jesus Loves Me". Yes, He does love us, Lillie. Thank you for always reminding me.